


...Till Death Do Us Apart (or at least till the alcohol wears off)

by thinker1357



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics), Nightwing (Comics)
Genre: 6 month marriage, Alternate Universe, Freeform, Las Vegas AU, M/M, No proofreading, divorce is talked about, drunk bruce likes trolling sober bruce, fluff sort of, idk guys, this could turn weird, wally and roy just...., yes they're married
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-05
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-02-28 19:53:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13278717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thinker1357/pseuds/thinker1357
Summary: Dick finds himself waking up in a hotel in Las Vegas, naked and married to Bruce Wayne





	1. Through sickness...

Waking up in the mornings, Dick found, was one of the more difficult challenges he had in life. Especially when he woke up in the morning naked, hungover and with no idea where he was, never mind why he was there. Rolling over in the bed, Dick pulled himself into a sitting position leaning his back against the headboard and took a moment to assess the situation through the haze in his mind.

 _Where was he?_ He sure wasn’t in Kansas anymore-or the circus in his case. Flashes of colors came to mind and a picture of the words _casino_ in bright lights. Roy’s voice floated through the memory laughing and yelling _“This is Las Vegas, baby! What happens here, stays here.”_

 Dick winced at the pain in his head but at least that cleared up the where.

 _Kind of_ , Dick thought as he looked around the lavish hotel room he had been sleeping in. He took in the silk sheets and the shiny chandelier that hung above him along with the intricate designs carved into the ceiling and concluded that this was not his or anyone in his entourage’s room.

Deciding to hold off on that line of questioning, Dick dug deeper into his slowly clearing up memories. He remembers talking to his parents at the airport, them wishing him a good travel and warning him to behave. Then Barbra came to say goodbye and- oh yeah, he was here for his bachelor party. Dick winced again as more of his memories unfogged themselves. Clutching his head in his hands, Dick let out a deep moan, digging his fingers into the side of his forehead as though he could dig the memories out.  

A hand appeared in his line of sight and in the palm of it two innocent pills rested. Confused, Dick looked up, following the arm to see a face he definitely wasn’t expecting.

“Shit! You’re Bruce Wayne!” The words reverberated in his head and Dick found himself regretting them, especially when he caught the dry chuckle that Bruce Wayne gave him.

“Yes, it would seem that I am him.” The older man responded, the words tinged with amusement before he unceremoniously dropped the pills in between Dick’s bare thighs. “Take those and come out to the suite’s kitchen, I’ll have a cup of coffee waiting for you. We have some things to discuss.”

Dick watched slack-jawed as the billionaire left the room. The moment the door closed behind him Dick felt a heat rise up from his chest and spread to his cheeks and ears. Groaning again, Dick took up his position from before, head in his arms and knees pulled up to his chest.

He was going to kill Wally and Roy. Hang them both up by the dick till they had literal blue balls then castrate them. Dick had brought them along as his conscious, they were supposed to stop him from pulling any dumbass moves that he would regret in the future- but then again all they had ever did was encourage his stupid decisions and stood by him till he solved them, so he wasn’t too surprised.

Still… they were dead when he got his hands on them.

And oh God if he read all the clues right, he had just made one of the stupidest decisions ever in his life. He had a one-night stand with the richest person in the USA… while being engaged to another person.

Fuck him.

* * *

 

When magazines’ called Bruce Wayne the hottest man alive and flaunted his half-naked pics on the covers, Dick, like the rest of the people with working eyes, had immediately labeled him as hot.

_Who wouldn’t?_

With his cerulean blue eyes that sparkled with the depth of mystery, his strong jaw which any women would die to touch and his gorgeous smile that practically haunted everyone’s dreams- well, Bruce Wayne had the looks to turn a straight man gay (something every single one of his gay fans would attest to.) (And yes, Dick will admit that he too might be one of those straight men, but he never imagined he’d actually sleep with the man.) However, none of these pictures had prepared him for the majesty that is Bruce Wayne in real life.

Popping the pills in his mouth and hoping they were Advil and not some drug, he hopped off the bed, wincing when the landing jolted his headache and began looking for his clothes.

Fifteen minutes later and he still couldn’t find any of his clothes, sans his underwear. Exasperated, Dick sighed and ran his hand through his hair for what seemed like the millionth time the past quarter of an hour, when a knock on the door interrupted his search.

“Uh… I apologize for my indiscretion. I forgot that in our haste to get to get to the bedroom that I tore your clothes when we got through the suite’s entrance.” Bruce spoke through the embellished door, an awkward tilt entering his voice at the last sentence.

Dick resisted the urge to smile at the awkward tone, because seriously? The mighty and famous, playboy billionaire being awkward about sex after probably having it a kajillion times, was too funny.

“So, I sent out one of my guards to buy some clothes for you, they might not fit perfectly since I guessed your size.” A long silence. “So… uh… I’ll leave this out here by the door.” The rustling of plastic before a light thump reached Dick’s ear.

“Err… yeah, I’ll get changed and meet you at the… kitchen, right?” Dick said, clearing his throat as the words got caught. _God, why was this so awkward?_

“Yeah.” Bruce responded, relief bleeding into his voice at the chance for a retreat. Dick held his breath, waiting for the billionaire’s footsteps to fade away before letting out a deep breath and face-palming.

 _So awkward, so damn awkward._ Dick chanted in his head as he opened the door to grab the bag. Closing the door as fast as he opened, he took a deep breath before pulling the clothes on. The clothes were surprisingly comfortable. But made of good quality cloth, he quickly determined when he pulled on the slightly tight gray sweatshirt and rubbed the clothe between his fingers. _Very_ good quality cloth, he corrected himself when he saw the brand name on the side. The jeans were way too tight he noticed as he shimmied into them, but as he looked at himself in the mirror he concluded it wasn’t anything he couldn’t work.

After wasting another four minutes trying to fix his nest of a hair, he gave up on procrastinating and finally decided to leave the room. Taking a deep breath, he turned the knob and stepped into the living room of the suite.

 The first thing he noticed was the natural elegance and wealth that the whole room-scratch that- the whole suite seemed to scream. Eyeing the expensive-looking Persian rug that laid on the floor, he padded across the polished wooden floors on bare feet, following the tantalizing scent of coffee. He could really use some after the hangover he had in the morning.

When he finally found the kitchen, he swore his heart stopped. There sitting at the kitchen table, looking like he belonged on the front cover of Vogue magazine, was Bruce fuckin Wayne. Dick felt his throat dry up, taking in the suit clad figure bathed in sunlight from the glass wall next to him. _Down boy_. Dick thought to himself, rubbing his thighs together uncomfortably. _You’re still engaged to Barbara._ And suddenly everything died down and a pang of guilt went through him.

But before he could really think about that, Bruce looked up from his phone while taking a sip from his mug, and lifted his eyes almost pointedly at the chair cross from him. Getting the hint, Dick crossed the room and sat down, taking a careful sip of the no-doubt expensive and foreign coffee.

They sat like that for a while. Bruce sipping his coffee in an unobtrusive manner while tapping away on his phone and ignoring the awkward tension in the air like a pro while Dick sat there, feeling that throwing himself out the window seemed a more and more viable option as the seconds passed on. Eventually, he couldn’t contain himself and he gave into the invisible pressure he felt.

“So… I’m going to assume there’s a reason I’m still here because I doubt you sit down and offer coffee to all… your…. One… night-stands.” Dick said trailing off nervously when intense blue eyes met him. He coughed again awkwardly gently thumping his chest as he felt some of his spit go down the wrong tube.

“You are correct in your assumptions Mr. Grayson, this is not something I always do for my one-night stands. On the rare occasion I have them, anyways.”

Dick winced as the older man straightened up and sent a glare at Dick at the last sentence. He didn’t mean to insinuate that Bruce was some sort of man-whore or something, he had just been pointing out the obvious that as a bachelor-for-life the man had to find his relief somewhere and that was probably in one-night stands. No judgement. Dick shivered as the man tossed another glare his way, clearly waiting for a reply. He nodded nervously. What happened to the awkward Bruce Wayne? Dick liked him better than this version.

“I normally would’ve shown you the exit and given you a chauffeur back to your hotel room. But circumstances have it that I can’t allow you to leave .” Bruce said, his forehead wrinkled as he steepled his fingers together under his chin.

“What?” Dick muttered, beyond confused. Instead of answering, Bruce pushed a small pile of papers toward him. Wearily, Dick lifted the top piece of paper to read and immediately choked on air.

“Certification of Marriage?! Dick John Grayson and Bruce Thomas Wayne??!!” Dick yelled, glaring at the man sitting across from him. If the guy was playing a prank on him, Dick will punch him.

Billionaire or not.

Cause this wasn’t funny, not funny in the slightest.

Bruce took an infuriatingly calm sip of his coffee before answering. “Yes, well, there’s nothing we can do about it.”

“The hell you mean? You’re a fuckin billionaire, call up a divorce lawyer and get this cleared up!”

At this Bruce almost looked sheepish as he put his coffee down. “I already called up my lawyers. And…. Well... it seems the intoxicated version of me wanted me to give you a chance while sober, and I…. I… came up with a legal document that prevented us from divorcing each other until after 6 months and within that time we have to live with each other and go on at least 6 dates.”

If it weren’t for the very legal looking papers in front of him that read Bruce’s explanation, Dick would’ve called his bullshit and walked out of the hotel and all the way back to his own room by himself. As it was, all Dick could do now was slump back into his chair and moan into his hands.

“Oh God, this can’t be happening to me. It just can’t. Barbara…” Dick muttered. But of course, the omniscient Bruce Wayne just had to hear.

“Will this be an issue for you?”

Dick choked out a bitter laugh.

“Will this be an issue? Do you even fucking hear yourself when you speak?! Other than the fact that I’m married to a complete stranger, yes there is an issue! The issue is that I’m fuckin engaged! My wedding is in a week and this was supposed to be my bachelor’s party!”

Silence reigned in the kitchen after that declaration and Dick sat in the chair curled in on himself. Eventually Bruce got up, picking up his phone.

“I’m sorry for the circumstances but what’s done is done. I’m going to call ahead to my butler and tell him to prepare a room in the manor for you. We’ll spend the 6 months at Gotham in my house. I suggest you call your family and fiancé and explain what happened.” With that comment he was gone, leaving Dick alone to mope silently in the kitchen.


	2. ...and difficult times

Dick sighed and dropped the blue button-down shirt he had been trying to hang up in the closet on the floor. Closing his eyes, he walked backward before suddenly tipping back, and landing sprawled on top of the huge king bed.

This sucked.

_Sucked so much._

_Sucked._

_Sucked._

_Sucked._

_Sucked._

_Sucked._

And by the way, did he mention this sucked?

Dick moaned a non-sexy moan and tossed his arm across his face as though that would protect him from the reality of life.

Why, oh why would his drunk-self do this to him? He lamented, internally.

The calls home had not been pretty at all. It had gotten so bad that even Bruce Wayne had retreated from the suite turned battle ground when Dick’s parents had found out via skype.

God, he doesn’t think he’s ever seen them this angry before, not even when he was arrested in his teens for underaged intoxication and public nudity.

Barbara had been worse. He got a front seat view of her taking a hammer to their engagement ring and more than an earful of curses; his ears haven’t stopped ringing since then. Bruce had left the building by then, claiming with a pale face and fearful gaze at the laptop screen that he had important business to attend to. Dick would’ve been impressed at Barbara’s ability of striking the fear of god in the heart of the richest man on earth… if his own heart hadn’t also been struck.

Of course, Dick wasn’t the only one who got flack for his shot-gun wedding. He had the pleasure of also getting a front seat view of an all-out Wayne smackdown, featuring: Damian Wayne, the devil child, and Alfred Pennyworth, butler extraordinaire and true master of the house, versus Bruce Wayne, the pathetic coward when it came to the former two.  It had been a glorious sight to watch the billionaire get taken down by an elderly man and his 8-year-old dem _\- he meant son_.

“Grayson, you despicable whore, I believe it is time for dinner. A concept I’m sure you are new to due to your… less than stellar upbringing.”

_Speak of the devil and he shall appear._

Dick stood up quickly and opened the door, a wry smile already in place to greet the tiny, scowling hellion that stood outside his room.

“Damian, I know what dinner is and before you make a sarcastic comment about howling at the moon and eating raw meat with our hands or something similar, I’ll have you know that I ate dinner normally with my parents around a dining table just as you do. Now if you don’t mind, let Alfred know that I’m not in the mood for dinner and will be staying in my room tonight.”  Before he the younger boy could respond, Dick slammed the door closed and went back to his bed, this time falling on it face first.

Alas, the world seemed to be against him taking a nap as in that exact moment his phone began ringing from across the room. Dick couldn’t help but sarcastically think _‘oh goody, another person calling to yell at me and tell me what a fuck up I am’_ , before trudging pitifully to pick up the call.

“Hello, Dick Grayson, the expert fuck up, here. How may I help you?”

_“Dick! Oh, thank God, you’re still alive! We thought Barbara had sent hitmen after you.”_

“Yea well no thanks to you, Wally. You let me get married to a random stranger!” Dick hissed, seeing his reflection from the corner of his eye slowly get redder from anger.

_“Hey, Bruce Wayne can’t be a stranger to anyone. Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past 10 years.”_ Another voice joined into the conversation.

“Roy, you were supposed to be the voice of logic on the trip! Wally, I get; but how could you!” A sigh echoed through the phone.

“ _Dick let’s be real here. You haven’t been happy with Barbara for years. This is your second engagement alone after she broke up with you for forgetting to go to the florist. And well, when I saw you with Bruce I just saw that glimmer of happiness and drunk me thought it was best you took the opportunity. I know you’ve been trying hard the past couple of weeks to stay happy for your parents but I could tell you were getting more and more upset as the wedding came closer. And Dick…. I just want you to be happy.”_

Dick felt tears stinging his eyes at Roy’s words. Barbara and his relationship was at its best difficult and sometimes at its worst near impossible. He loved her, he knew he did. After-all with 22 years of friendship and dating, he would be crazy not to love her. But sometimes he really questioned how much he loved her.

Did he love her enough to marry her?

Did he love her enough to stick by her forever?

Did he love her enough to take her verbal abuse everyday for the sake of their marriage?

 Recently, Dick’s answers to those question’s have been negative. That didn’t exactly excuse Roy’s behavior though.

“So you thought the best way to make me happy was by marrying me off to a billionaire?”

_“I was drunk, what did you expect? The fucking DaVinci code or something?”_ Roy nervously chuckled.

At that Dick was about launch into another angry tirade when he heard knocking at the door… again. _Do the abruptions ever stop?_

“You are so not off the hook but I gotta go. You better pick up when I call again.” Dick cut the call before walking over to the door, ready to explain to Damian that no he really wasn’t coming for dinner and just wanted to be alone- only to realize that it wasn’t Damian at all.

No, it was Alfred.

Alfred and his very buff friend.

Alfred and his buff friend who looked like he was ready to kill Dick.

_Crap._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M ALIIIIIVVEEEE. Not really, i feel pretty dead inside but that's besides the point. Thank you to all those who commented last chapter and bookmarked and kudoed and whatever else you wonderful readers did, it encouraged me to write more. Im really sorry for the slow updates but recently i haven't really been in a fanfic mood and if i am it's usually not for this fandom and i lost my creativity for my fanfics due to this. Updates will continue to be irregular cuz im a procrastinator. Anyways, comment what you thought about this chapter and feel free to ask any questions about barbara as im sure you hav now. if there r no questions or comments at least leave a kudo? Please!

**Author's Note:**

> So I promised a one-shot, but then i saw how long this story was actually going to be so i turned it into a multi-chapter. comment and tell me how it is!


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